How Not To Write A Sales Letter
The industry’s quest for search advertising and next-gen digital technologies is endless. Though technology is undoubtedly important, too often, there’s not enough emphasis on the soft science aspects of closing the sale. This applies to everything from search technology to agency services. Take the sales letter, for example. Like many agencies; we get sales solicitations […]
The industry’s quest for search advertising and next-gen digital technologies is endless. Though technology is undoubtedly important, too often, there’s not enough emphasis on the soft science aspects of closing the sale. This applies to everything from search technology to agency services. Take the sales letter, for example.
Like many agencies; we get sales solicitations all the time. All too often, those solicitations are poor excuses for communication.
I got a doozy recently and I took the time to provide some helpful feedback. The
I made some notes on your sales letter in (red) below.
Overall, you need to shorten up your delivery a bit and always remember that agency decision makers have precious little time. Most people only scan these letters, if they read them at all.
For heaven’s sake, “Hi,
Lastly, letters like this are intended to inform briefly, not close the sale. Keep it brief.
Very truly yours,
Motivity Marketing, Inc.
Comments in context located in ()
Subject: Learn About
OLD VERSION: Hi Kevin,
NEW VERSION: Mr. Ryan:
OLD: I thought (NOTE: No one ever cares what you think when you are in sales, cowboy your language up.) you might be interested to see how
NEW: I’m writing to inform you of the latest search engine advertising tactics and Facebook advertising integration deployed on
OLD: Below is a bit of info on
OLD: Our PPC management platform has recently added Facebook advertising and display. (NOTE: “Recently added” implies that you aren’t really experts and the platform is untested. No one is going to risk their internal credibility on an untested platform — the only thing “recent” should be the amazing tactics that you execute.)
OLD: Essentially our tool is made specifically for Agencies such as yours, (How do you know what my agency is like?) and has been designed with features to alleviate the problems that are unique to agencies (Such as? This is too ambiguous; get rid of it).
OLD: Our platform can help you pull information from a variety of sources including all major search engines and Google Analytics data.
OLD: One of the benefits of
OLD: We allow you to set up bid-rules to achieve your objectives.
OLD: Some of the new features we’ve implemented to enhance our platform are:
* Bid management (This is new?!?!?!?!?!?!)
* Display (Redundant)
* New Charts and Data for reports (Are these new-new or just new? Describe the features and intelligence gained. No one ever asks for “charts and graphs”)
* Conversion attribution (I hope so.)
* Algorithms (Algorithms? REALLY? ALGORITHMS?)
* Integration with Facebook and Google Analytics (Redundant)
* No API Fee’s (What’s an API? Most people will have no idea what this means.)
* Advanced goal and rule based management
* Multi-level attribution, social advertising and analytics integration
* Display, Facebook & search advertising in one interface
* Exclusive Facebook advertising tools saving & reusing audience segmentation.
OLD: FACEBOOK (Kill this entire section. This is the wrong time to get all preachy and op-ed; this is way too much information.)
If you’ve ever been frustrated by the “F” word — Facebook — you’re not alone! Ever since Facebook has allowed ads, marketers have wanted a better way to track the ROI of their campaigns on the world’s most popular social network. And today, we’re excited to tell you that
* Create new or import existing Facebook ads
* Manage ads and campaigns at massive scale inside our bulk editor
* Track ad and campaign performance with
* Automate & optimize performance to detect and overcome ad fatigue and manage bids
* Report on the entire funnel across search, social and display networks using flexible and powerful cross-channel revenue and conversion attribution models
Points 3 & 7 below are huge time savers that can only be accomplished using
1. Full FB support in Campaign Automation – including 3 decimal places for CTR
2. Full FB support in Reports – Graph by Publishers, Search vs. Content (and Social), Top Ads
3. Save and reuse Targeting segments
4. Upload & select multiple likes and interests
5. Keyword Tools
6. Bulk edit ads including upload of zipped image files
7. Duplicate a Facebook campaign instantly
8. Replace Text
(Shorten all of these links, or better yet, use tracking URLs.)
Description of Social Media Solutions (description = boring word) http://www.
ebook: Best Practices in Facebook Marketing (I like this) www. (tracking url) .com
Webinar: Facebook Advertising: Testing and Optimization (also good) www. (tracking url) .com
Sample Report Generated From
If you found this information useful (Why wouldn’t I think it’s useful? Are you sending me crap?) and you’d like to hear more, I would be more than happy (I’ve course you’d be happy, you have a sales number to hit) to set you up (Set me up? You mean you are not an expert? Why am I talking to you then?) with one of my experts here to give you a personalized demo (Schedule a demo? WOW! Now that sounds exciting) of the updated platform around your specific needs (I thought you already knew about my needs) and challenges. (Needs and challenges, needs and challenges– say that phrase 10 ten times to see if it develops any meaning.)
All the best, (Again, please stop this– it’s all so bad. This should be a sincere and complimentary closing and don’t even think about getting cutesy. Just say thank you.)
T (does “T” mean telephone?) <555 555 1212>
Toll Free: 1.800.555.1212